INT. RECORDING STUDIO. DAY
WALTER is sat on some stage rig boxes with general music
equipment positioned around him. WALTER looks up at the
camera as if to only just acknowledge it's presence. He then
sighs.
WALTER
It was twenty seven years ago now,
the year was 1983 and there was a
music artist that defined the New
Wage genre. Soundbomb 2000 had
released his first album, titled
Nothing to Lose and toured
everywhere in the world, he even
managed to score a gig in North
Korea! Soundbomb 2000 appeared to
be unstoppable! This is the story
of him and the time I spent with
him after that first album, as he
returned to the studio to begin
recording his second album.
INT. SOUNDBOMB 2000'S HOME STUDIO. DAY
WALTER enters the room looking around, paying close attention
to a red bed located on the floor, SOUNDBOMB 2000 is pacing
up and down yelling on the phone.
SOUNDBOMB
NO! I Don't want to stay in some
small hotel! It's New York! It's
going to be a five star penthouse!
Do they know who I am!? I'm
Soundbomb 2000! I'm a worldwide
superstar! Tell them if they don't
sort it I'm not playing the gig!
SOUNDBOMB slams the phone down, shaking his head
WALTER
Uhh, hi! I'm Walter Donovan, I'm
here about the documentary
WALTER extends his arm to shake SOUNDBOMB's hand, SOUNDBOMB
just looks at it, starts laughing and carries on regardless
SOUNDBOMB
Walter!? Seriously? Ahh your name
totally sucks!
...I guess I have to be nice to
you, otherwise you'll do some crazy
voodoo to your film and make me
look ridiculous or something
WALTER
Uhm yeah, this is about you, not
me...So let's keep it that way?
SOUNDBOMB
Whatever man, this is just for
today right?
WALTER
Yeah
SOUNDBOMB
Well, who knows! You could actually
be cool, but so far you seem like a
complete airhead!
WALTER
So, where's the rest of your band?
SOUNDBOMB
That's the touring band, they're a
bunch of pretentious uptight
losers!
WALTER
What's so bad about them?
SOUNDBOMB
They have all this stage energy
which is phat! But not when they're
just trying to outshine me! I'm the
main act! I'm the person the
audience paid to see, not them! My
record company pays them to play my
music, not try to be my music! This
one time, I set a load of fireworks
off, the crowd went INSANE! What
does my guitarist do? Jumps out
into the crowd! It wouldn't have
been so bad, but I kinda needed him
to play the next part of the song!
WALTER
Oh! Didn't you play the Budoken?
SOUNDBOMB
Budowhat?
WALTER
Budoken? It's in Japan the Beatles
famously played there?
SOUNDBOMB
Oh, yeah that was major lame! They
were kicking up some fuss because I
wanted to have some of them kung fu
fighters on stage with me, y'know,
like that Bruce Lee guy who died?
They were complaining saying it was
disrespectful to their culture!
Pfft! They were being so touchy,
eventually I did play the gig, I
hated it!
WALTER is sat down to a standing SOUNDBOMB 2000 who is
awkwardly fidgeting.
WALTER
So, I'm guessing the first question
would have to be, did you know that
your first album was going be a big
hit?
SOUNDBOMB
It's interview time!? Oh, okay,
erm, I guess I did, I mean since I
was a child I knew I was destined
for great things, y'know? Eye of
the tiger and all that! I'd sit in
lessons at school just scribbling
song lyrics in my book
WALTER
When did you start to actually make
music?
SOUNDBOMB
About 5 years ago, when I left
school I started working at my
local supermarket, Kwik Save, then
they sold a guitar, so I kinda
stole it since I didn't think
anyone would want it, then one day
I was playing it in the park for
some hot girls when I was
approached by some guy asking me to
go with him, I thought I was under
arrest or something, turns out that
it was a talent scout on his
dinner, he told me that I looked
the part, and he was going to make
me be the part! He said I was going
to be a star!
WALTER
Do you think that you earned this
opportunity, or do you think that
it was luck?
SOUNDBOMB
I think I earned it! If it wasn't
for me stealing that guitar I'd
still be stacking shelves in Kwik
Save
WALTER
How did it feel to return home
after the tour?
SOUNDBOMB
Amazing! I'd been touring the
entire world and I was just sick of
having to learn phrases in
different languages, the worst part
was I didn't know what I was
saying! It was management that had
fixed me up with some phrases to
shout with the translations next to
them, I was scared I'd say
something ridiculous! Safe to say
I'm glad I'm back recording again
WALTER
Has a date been set for when your
next album is due for release?
SOUNDBOMB
I'd say early '84 but I'm not going
to make a definite statement yet...
WALTER
Thanks a lot!
SOUNDBOMB
Finally that interview is over!
Dude, are you going to see the new
Star Wars? It looks so rad!
WALTER
Absolutely man, what do you reckon
is going to happen?
SOUNDBOMB
I don't think that skank Vader is
Luke's father, he's just using some
of that dark force shit to mess
with his head
WALTER
Nah man, I reckon he is, Vader
doesn't lie! He said he'd blow up
Alderaan, and he did! Yoda will
probably know, where did you get
that Revenge of the Jedi poster
from?
SOUNDBOMB
Some dweeb sent it to me, seriously
though, everyone knows Jedi don't
seek revenge! What a spazz it's
probably worthless!
WALTER
Who knows? Star Wars is huge right
now! It could be worth loads in the
future!
SOUNDBOMB
Dude, in 20 years we'll probably
all have our own Death Star! I
doubt we'll even have roads
anymore! No one will even care
about Star Wars! Oh man, you wanna
hear me play the Star Wars theme,
I'm thinking of using it in a song,
it'd be so rad!
SOUNDBOMB walks over to his keyboard and plays a bad
variation of the Star Wars theme, he quickly becomes
frustrated, slamming his hand on the side of the keyboard
SOUNDBOMB (CONT'D)
Dude! This blows! I fuckin' hate
it!
Wanna grab a drink or something? I
saw a bodacious chick outside!
WALTER
Sure man
EXT. OUTSIDE SOUNDBOMB'S HOME
WALTER and SOUNDBOMB are walking down the street talking to
each other
SOUNDBOMB
So I was playing a set in Madison
Square Garden, 20,000 sold out!
Midway through the song I have this
massive urge to-
A crazed fan called DAFFODIL runs over hysterically and
overexcited while screaming
DAFFODIL
OH MY GOD!? It's Soundbomb 2000!
SOUNDBOMB
Uhh, hi?
DAFFODIL
I loved your last album! I had it
on at this party, it was so
intense, I listened to it after I
broke up with my boyfriend, it
helped me through some really hard
times! Your music saved my life!
SOUNDBOMB
Thanks! So, do you want an
autograph or something mayb-
DAFFODIL
OH MY GOD!? SERIOUSLY?? CAN YOU
SIGN MY
DAFFODIL grabs the edge of her top but stops suddenly
DAFFODIL (CONT'D)
No, erm CAN YOU SIGN MY NOTEBOOK
PLEASE?
SOUNDBOMB
Okay, who's it to?
DAFFODIL
Daffodil!
SOUNDBOMB
Da-fo-wait, what?
DAFFODIL
Daffodil, my parents called me it
they were hippies, I hate it,
everyone calls me Daffy, which is
major lame because I don't feel
like a duck! Am I going on too
much? It feels like I'm going on
too much, I'm sorry, I just love
you so much, you're sooooo cool!
SOUNDBOMB
It's fine, seriously
SOUNDBOMB takes the notebook and signs it with a rather
unrealistic amount of lines for a signature
DAFFODIL
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! I
can't wait to show my friends! I
love you so much! Bye!
DAFFODIL quickly scuttles off, screaming more
INT. RECORDING STUDIO. DAY
SOUNDBOMB enters the recording studio with WALTER walking
along behind, both with drinks in white Styrofoam cups , as
they enter the PRODUCER quickly stands to attention
PRODUCER
Oh hey! Good timing UB40 just left!
SOUNDBOMB
Urgh I hate that band! They're so
lame!
PRODUCER
Hey! They've got talent, they were
covering some Neil Diamond song
SOUNDBOMB
Haaaaa, that totally sucks man!
Neil Diamond is just as lame as
them! They'll be covering Sonny and
Cher next! Total losers!
PRODUCER
I disagree, anyway! Have you done
ANYTHING productive other than
"promote your album" at parties?
SOUNDBOMB
OH MY GOD! I was at this totally
tubular party the other day-
PRODUCER
ANYTHING!?
SOUNDBOMB
...No, I've been meaning to work,
but I've woken up, and then it's
time to go out again! Whoever
invented time didn't make enough
hours! I have written one song
though... I think it was a song?
PRODUCER
Show me it?
SOUNDBOMB pulls out a piece of paper from his back pocket and
unenthusiastically hands it across to the PRODUCER
PRODUCER (CONT'D)
No, this isn't cool man! As always
I've wrote a few songs for you!
Here check these out
SOUNDBOMB
Oh, awesome! Does this mean I can
keep partying??
PRODUCER
I'd prefer it if you didn't, infact
this is like the last album! You've
barely written one song!
SOUNDBOMB turns to WALTER
SOUNDBOMB
Can you edit that last part out,
infact, can you stop filming
please?
INT. SOUNDBOMB 2000'S HOME STUDIO. NIGHT
WALTER enters the room, where SOUNDBOMB is sat tapping a beat
on a drum machine
SOUNDBOMB
Dude! Check this out! I'm writing a
new song, I just figured out the
drumming for it!
WALTER
Oh, cool! Which one is this?
SOUNDBOMB
I don't have a name for it yet, I
just sit down, and start thinking
of words that sound cool, then put
them together! It's never failed
me!
SOUNDBOMB turns back to his drumming machine and begins to
tap the same beat again, but adding a different drum to the
beat
WALTER
Is that a productive way of
writing?
SOUNDBOMB
Course it is! It's always worked,
now I'm just working out a beat to
go with the song, I worked on this
riff earlier, this is going to be
so phat, OH! Dude, can you just run
to shop for me, I need a meat
sandwich, I'll buy yours?
WALTER
...What? Sure man, whatever...
INT. SOUNDBOMB 2000'S HOME STUDIO. NIGHT
WALTER enters the room carrying two boxes stacked on each
other
WALTER
Dude, I got us some Sausage and
Bacon sandwiches
As WALTER looks up he finds SOUNDBOMB and DAFFODIL in the bed
together, with SOUNDBOMB playing his guitar
SOUNDBOMB
What the hell man!? I'm vegan! I
hate meat?
WALTER
But yo-
SOUNDBOMB quickly shakes his head, as if to say "shut up!"
WALTER (CONT'D)
OH! Sorry man I forgot, isn't this
the girl that we saw earlier
DAFFODIL waves enthusiastically
SOUNDBOMB
Yes, and you're interrupting us?
So, go do some filmy stuff or
something...
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